Thursday, December 3, 2009

Struggling

I don't know what's been going on today and yesterday- they haven't been the best of days. There is nothing dramatically wrong- nothing major has happened. I just feel in a bit of a funk and I don't particularly no why. I didn't get enough work done and that always bothers me. My desk is a mess and I didn't get to clean it. Yesterday, I thought I might be getting sick- I was super tired, but I didn't feel sick today- still tired though. I haven't been eating properly during the day and I know that makes me really tired. I've been eating breakfast late and lunch even later, so by the time I eat lunch- I already feel exhausted.

I love Christmas time, but I'm getting anxious about buying gifts. I have such a limited budget and I feel like I can't get anyone very much and it gets me a little sad. I know that it isn't all about buying stuff and no one is expecting any big gifts, but it makes me feel sad that I can only do a little. It was easier when my siblings were younger because money went further- for not that much money I could get them a bunch of toys and they were happy. They're too old for toys now- at least those kind of toys. I feel as the oldest sister, I should be able to do more. I've made mistakes before and went overboard at Christmas and I'm trying not to do that. I want to get gift for my friends too, but I don't think I can manage that. I know this has nothing to do with Project Smile, but it has been on my mind.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have a lot of police/fire departments that I need to contact, I have quite a few calendars left to sell, newsletter that needs written, web updates that need done, I need to work on a 2010 plan and a bunch of other things that I can't remember right now. I also have to sell the auction items that are left. I have those 2 beautiful large Christmas baskets that didn't sell. I think I'll put them on our FB page tomorrow and see if there is any interest in them. I really have no space to store them either. I also want to take some time and do a bit of studying- someone gave me a book about online social networking a few months ago- I had only looked at it briefly and didn't find it particularly interesting. I was going to put it in the silent auction, but as I went to do write the bid sheet, I flipped through the book again and there are actually some interesting points in there. So I want to take some time and study it some more. There are also some other online free courses that I want to sign up for. It is so important to learn ways to improve. One of my plans next year is to learn more about different topics, so I can improve the way I run PS- I don't want to spend money taking courses, but I'm sure there are a lot of free resources that I could take more advantage of.

Well, I'm getting a bit of a headache, so I should probably go to sleep. I've been trying to go to bed early, it is 12:15 now- lights were out by midnite last night, but I had nightmares and woke up at 3am with my hear racing, so maybe the whole going to bed earlier thing just doesn't agree with me! Maybe I am fighting off a bug again, I don't know. I know I sound like a Pathetic Polly tonight and I'm really not- just tired and overwhelmed. I did take advantage of the beautiful weather today and hung Christmas lights outside. It is a rather odd light display, but it makes me happy to look at it.

Tomorrow, we're donating stuffed animals for the Goodwill children's holiday party in Boston. We've been donating to that for the past 2 years now. I've never been to the party, but I'm really glad that we're able to help. Monday is our holiday donation to the Dept. of Children and Families. I would love to do a children's holiday event at some point, but that probably won't be for a while.
Anyways, off to bed. Until next time friends...

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