Friday, December 5, 2008


Blogging on a Friday night- yikes! Not something that usually happens- but things ended early tonight, in a somewhat dramatic but not unpredictable terms. So, I'm home, watching Jay Leno and blogging. Today was a pretty quiet day- I was working on making calendar calls and fundraising, but with little progress. I had lunch with a friend who I hadn't seen in 6 months, so that was great.

It's so important to always trust yourself and follow your instinct. I know it sounds like a simple thing to do, but it's not always so easy to follow. I trust my decisions with work implicity and I use my instinct when making business decisions and it works out well. However, when it comes to personal issues, it is a different story. I like to believe that people are better, that situations are better than what I feel they are deep down. My instinct tells me one thing, but I'll ignore it- because I don't want to believe what is happening. Not trusting myself put me in a potentially dangerous situation this summer and the events of tonight could have been avoided if I listened to myself. I knew where things were headed almost a week ago, but didn't want to believe it and I knew it even more last night, but still wouldn't listen to myself. I consider myself an optimist and also a realist- I've never walked around with my head in the clouds, but I always make an effort to find the positive, to look for the good in people, give others a chance and make the best of a situation. I think it is wonderful to be optimistic and always look for the good in others, but that can't come at the price of denying your intuition. After this summer's frightening incident, I told myself I'd never not listen to myself. Well, it happened again, but it's not the end of the world- the wind is out of my sails right now, but I'll be back to normal in the morning. Even more than what happened tonight, I'm annoyed at myself for not listening. So this is my new year's resolution- 3 weeks early. I will always listen to my instinct in all matters personally and professionally. I did well with my new years resolutions this year- it was my first time ever making them- so I'm holding onto this one.

One may wonder why I'm blogging about this- since it doesn't seem to have much to do with work. I know that I'm not alone when it comes to not listening to my instinct. I think it happens with more women than men, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't even know who reads my blog and I never want to preach to people, I just want to tell my story and if people can get some use out of it, maybe some inspiration or just learn something from what I write about, then that is wonderful. I hope that people don't make the same mistake that I consistently have done- your inner voice is there for a reason and it needs to be followed.

I always make an effort to not say hurtful things- sure, I get angry and I can yell, but there is a line that I'll never cross. I've been hurt by painful words and actions that were said many years ago and it made me careful to never treat others in that way. It amazes me how people will act with disregard and say things in such an unnecessary way. I guess it probably shouldn't amaze me- I know there are a lot of lousy people in the world, I've met quite a number of them, but even still, it takes my breath away every time it happens. It happened tonight and the way things were said took my breath away. I would never dream of acting that way, so when it happens to me it is somewhat shocking.

Anyways, enough on that. It is 1:16- I have a ton of things to do tomorrow- taking sis to the dentist in the morning, which means I get to have spinach pies from Sam's Bakery in Fall River- which has been one of my favorite foods since I was about 9 years old- can't wait! I should go to sleep, but I'm feeling kind of wired, so maybe I'll read for a little while. Anyways friends, that's it for tonight. I'm looking forward to a happy weekend and I hope you have one too!

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