Night Before

Well, here we are- the countdown to the end of the year and the night before an event. I'm in the familiar position of printing up bid sheets for silent auction items, boxing up stuff and doing the usual pre-event prep. Of course, I'm nervous too- worried about a good turnout and always afraid of having a disaster. Things are looking fine for our Santa and Stilettos event, so I really shouldn't be worried, but I am. This is a lot smaller event and required a lot less time, but it is still important. I have a number in my head for guest size and $ amount raised that I would be satisfied with. Hopefully, by tomorrow night, I will have met our goal. The good thing is that financially, I'm only on the hook for the cost of the DJ- which is a reduced rate, so the break even bar is set pretty low.

There is so much going on in my head- I don't know where to begin. I've been thinking about plans for 2010, thinking about this year, thinking about all the things that I want to get done, thinking about turning 30 in a couple of months. It is funny to think that I will be turning 30- to be honest, I'm not sure what I think about it. For the last few years, every year has been better than the year before- both personally and professionally- and even this year, with its financial difficulties, has been better than last year. My life isn't perfect- there are a few things that I'd like to change, but I am happy and healthy with a family I love, good friends and a career that matters to me. How much more can a girl ask for right now? I've always been a girl with dreams and now, turning 30, I'm worrying that I'll never make those dreams a reality. I know that is a stupid way of thinking- to think that you're running out of time at age 30. Years from now, I'll look back and laugh. I was 23 years old when I started Project Smile- same age as my sister is. When I look at her, I think how young she is, but I never thought of myself as young. It's funny how self perception is- I look at my youngest sister and I think how small she is, even though she is the same height as me- she might actually be a little taller.

I've been thinking to about other people. I already know that you can't change people- I've known that for many years. I don't try to change people- I believe for accepting others the way they are, finding the best in people and not to judge. But that doesn't mean that there aren't times when you wish people would act differently, wish you could get them to see things differently. I always try to understand things from the other person's perspective, but sometimes I just can't. I know that one doesn't have to understand everything- that the most important thing is to look at people's actions, not try to read their minds. I've found some people's actions hurtful lately and while I know that they probably didn't intend for it to be that way- it still hurts. There is nothing that I can change to make things better and I don't want to tell them exactly how hurt I feel. I'm trying to let it go, trying to just think of all the good things, but it still hurts. I don't even know why I'm writing about this- has nothing to do with PS, but it has been on my mind for the last few days.

Anyways, enough on that topic. I did get some good news today in the form of a $2,500 check from a Texas based company. It was a donation that I hadn't even expected- those are the best. It was funny because this morning I woke up listening to more dismal economy news and I was starting to worry about fundraising again- I went to the post office later that day and when I saw the envelope, I knew it was a check. Before I opened it, I thought how it would be so nice if it was a check for a few thousand dollars- then I opened it as I drove and there it was- I had to look a few times to make sure that is was actually $2,500 and not 250. Sometimes, wishes do come true!

Well friends, there is lots more to write about, but I'm getting tired and I need to go back to work on bid sheets for tomorrow's auction. I only have about 6 more to do, then I'll go to bed. I've been going to sleep way too late for these last few nights and it is a bad habit to get into. I've fallen off with my timer use, but will get back into it tomorrow. Wish me lots of luck for Santa and Stilettos tomorrow night- I'm sure it will be great, just hoping for a good turnout. Until tomorrow friends..