Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Good Day

So what's new? Well, the meeting with the event planner went really well today. We got a lot accomplished and things are off to a good start. The event is only in the early stages and there is a lot more planning that needs to be done, but it has the potential to be a great event.

My interview tonight with the Foundation for our grant application seemed to go well too. Most of the people there where the same ones that had interviewed me last year and they were really interested to see how things were going. The best part was that they really seemed to get it- to understand how much work goes into running this organization and they appreciated how much we've done these past few years. It is great to be with people that get it- I meet a lot of people, and there are even some people that I'm close with that I don't think really get what I do or the amount of work that goes into it.

I was thinking tonight when I was driving home about how I still feel like such a kid sometimes. When people take an interest in Project Smile, its that same feeling of happiness that I remember feeling as a little girl when I talked about stories I'd written, dreams for the future or about the farm game I loved. When I drive in unfamiliar areas or even places I drive all the time, I'll marvel at the littlest things- a bridge I've never seen before, planes at an airport, how the sun makes the water in a pond sparkle or even the patterns of the leaves on the ground. I remember doing that as a girl and I still feel the same sense of wonderment. When I dress up in my nice clothes, I still feel the same way I did when I dressed up as a 13 year old- I may be a world away, but the excitement never leaves. When people talk about things I've never heard of, I remember what it felt like as a kid, trying to figure out what was going on. When I get sad and nervous and I don't know what to say- its the same way I felt as a kid.

I wanted to make things better when I was a child- I wanted to make my dad not have health problems, I wanted to take away the financial pressures, for everyone to be happy, I wanted to keep the peace, to fix what was broken, to help as much as possible and to never be a burden. Those feelings grew even more as I got older and I saw, I understood the destruction and chaos that those you love can cause. I could make very little better as a kid and I had no way to fix the deep problems of one that I loved. Today, those feelings haven't changed, except now it has grown beyond my small world as a child to a grown up world, where I can devote my time to making things better for other children and someday adults too. The girl who always had big dreams, is now a woman with an even bigger dream. As much as I can, I want to make the world a better place for others- I want to take away the hurt- that's basically all that it comes down to. Maybe that sounds childishly simple, but it is true. Someday I also want Project Smile to work to prevent the heartbreaking cycle of domestic violence and child abuse that so frequently is handed down from generation to generation. Project Smile may have started from an incident in NJ of 3 abused brothers, but its roots runs much deeper than that.

Anyways, enough on that for tonight. I'm tired and need to sleep. I forgot to write my list last night and I'm not doing well with the exercising- I couldn't exercise when I was sick, but now I need to get back to it. Until tomorrow friends..

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