Monday, February 23, 2009

Remembering and Breathing

So what's with the blog title? Well, I've been thinking about how important it is to pay attention to all the good moments and really let them sink in. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment and forget to really pay attention, to step back a second a take it all in. Saturday night was the Sharks game and jersey auction for Project Smile. The game was awesome- I had second row seats (makes all the difference). The Sharks held a silent auction during the game for their jerseys and they held a live auction after the game for a number of special jerseys- the players came out modeling the jerseys- it was really fun to watch. Before the auction started, I decided to go and check on our table that we had on the concourse level, I probably shouldn't have done that because as I was heading back, I could hear the announcer talking about Project Smile- I started to run, but as I hurried back I made sure to listen- to really hear what the announcer was saying. It isn't often that I hear others talking about Project Smile and this was the first time I heard it come from the ice at the DCU Center. I hadn't planned on speaking, but hurried over and said a couple of words. I was out of breath and felt like I could barely speak- it wasn't from running, but sometimes I think I forget how to breathe. I get a rush of energy and nerves and it is hard to catch my breath. As the auction was going on, I made sure to watch and take it all in- so I could remember it. I've been working on that since last year. I'll always wish that I did that more at the Celtics night- that was the most special night of my life and I will always remember it. I still can't watch a Celtics game without thinking that I actually got to stand on that floor and have that incredible experience. I never talk about it, but I cherish that memory. It was also a blur- all I really remember was looking out all the people and hearing the announcer talk about Project Smile and not really feeling like it was real. I remember smiling and waving, I remember how bright everything looked, but I wish I took more of it in- slowed myself down a little. So now I try to do that with all of the special things that happen- both with Project Smile and personally.

I made a promise to myself on Saturday morning- it's a personal promise, so I can't explain it here, but I mention it because I'm working on making some changes and part of that includes always remembering to be true to oneself. I made a few mistakes these last couple of months and part of that came because I didn't listen to myself. I had always listened to my instinct when it came to Project Smile, so I don't know what caused that to change, but I'm making sure that it won't happen again.

Well, I should get going- I have a ton of work to do tomorrow. I didn't get a lot done today, I was struggling with the grant that I'm working on and I wasn't feeling so good. I'm feeling much better tonight, but it is probably best to go eat my grapefuit, write my long list and then go to bed early- it's midnite. I don't know why I'm struggling with this grant so much, it's not even that difficult. I think I should stop trying to work on it in the morning when my brain isn't fully functioning and do easier things instead. I also have to get working on the date auction and anniversary events. March is almost here and I need to pick up the pace.
Anyways, that's it for tonight..

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