Thursday, June 25, 2009

Photos and Thoughts

So what's the latest? I did two photo shoots for the calendar today. Sometimes, I forget how fun the photo shoots are- these were both great. The first group was such a beautiful family, it was a lot of fun to take photos of them. Then I had to hurry over to another police department for the next photo shoot. There was one family there that had been in the calendar before and a new family as well. It was funny, as soon as I started to take photos, my camera died- it needed new batteries. The battery symbol usually flashes when it needs them, but this time it didn't. I really appreciated how no one got annoyed or impatient- I was very apologetic, I hate to look unprepared. The officer even drove me around the corner so I could run into the store a buy new batteries which was very nice of him. I hope the photos come out well. This will be the last year for using this camera, next year I'm switching to digital. I love taking photos anyways, but it is also so much fun to meet the officers/firefighters and see them with their wives and children. The kids always love their parents so much and I love capturing that on film. One of the officers today wanted his wife to be in the photos with him and their kids, but she didn't want to. I wish she did, it would be nice to include some whole families. She was very pretty as well, so I bet the photos would have come out well. It was nice to see how much he wanted her to participate.

Not too much else new today, I was working on contacting more departments for calendar photos and working on auction items. I am so glad that I keep following up with businesses- I spoke with a YMCA yesterday that I had left a message with before, but never heard back. They will be donating a gift certificate for our auction. If I hadn't followed up, then I probably wouldn't have received anything. I know a lot of places receive many donation requests, so it is important to keep following up. It does get frustrating sometimes when you have to keep calling and calling, at least half the phone calls I make daily are follow up calls. Sometimes, it will take 3 or 4 calls. Is there a point when I just give up? Of course, but it takes a while to get there. I try to keep calling until I get a flat out rejection or the person gets tired of my nagging (but always super pleasant) messages and sends a donation! The worst is people that promise items then never deliver. That happened for auction items last year and it will probably happen again this year. That is rotten behavior and there is no excuse for it.

What else is knew? About a month ago, I made a decision in a personal matter and now I regret that decision. I should have listened to my friends and my sister and not done what I did. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter- it wasn't a life or death decision, it was a small personal one, but it does carry an impact. I didn't regret it immediately, but I've found new information recently which has made me wish I had stayed tough and not relented. I don't like having regrets- I have very few in life. I also don't like knowing that I made a mistake. If I had known everything now that I did then, I would have acted differently. Now, it is too late to do anything about it, I risk alienating others and I can't afford to do that. It would also make me look slightly stupid and petty- which I'm neither of. So, I know I have to let go of the anger I'm feeling now and move on, I'm just not quite there yet. My friend (the same one who told me not to do what I did) reminded me of that old saying how the best revenge is living well, so I'll keep that in mind. There are certain things that I want to say in regards to that situation, but there really isn't any point. There is little good that comes out of words spoken in anger or hurt. I try to always act and speak calmly. I lost someone close almost 7 years ago, our relationship at that time was strained- estranged is probably the word for it. He had always been a difficult person and had acted in a horrible manner for many years, but I never told him how angry I was at him, I never told him just how much he hurt me. When he died suddenly, I was so grateful for the angry words I never said. While there never will be closure with that situation, I know that I have no regrets on anything I said or did. Of course I get angry and curse, but it is usually only about stupid trivial things. It's not about bottling up emotion, I talk about stuff all the time to friends/family and I cry frequently, but I make an effort to never lash out in anger or hurt. I know how much words can hurt and the last thing that I want to do is hurt other people- even if I'm angry at them. It doesn't make one feel any better.

I need to work on listening to my instinct- if I had, this entire situation would have been avoided. I don't know why it is so difficult- perhaps sometimes because I don't like what it is telling me. I am getting better in baby steps though. I had an outdoor event planned on Saturday and people kept telling me that I should reschedule it because the weather reports predicted rain, but my instinct was that we would be fine, and although I came close to cancelling, I held onto what my little inner voice was telling me and I kept the plan on track- it didn't rain until the end of the event and we had an awesome day. Honestly, if I could give just one piece of advice to people, it would be to listen to your instinct. We all have it and we should pay attention. Of course, that doesn't mean to be a headstrong twit who doesn't listen to anyone else, there is a balance in everything.

Well, it is almost 1am, I am working on getting to bed at a decent hour and get out of the 2am routine I've slipped into. Last night, I was in bed before 1am which was very suprising- it took major effort though and I didn't blog! I'm also very saddened today about the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson- I know there isn't anything to say that isn't already being said about them, but I did want to take a moment and recognize the loss.
Until tomorrow friends..

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